We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
