No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's blow job season.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
