i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
