If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
