lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
