Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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