Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
