I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
