just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
