Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
