It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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