can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
