i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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