am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
