i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
