I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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