Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize