what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
