were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
