stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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