We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
