So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
