how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
