a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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