rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
