our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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