Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
