just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
