if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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