Cold hands, warm shart.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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