Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
