Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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