Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
