hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize