i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
