we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
