Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
