garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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