Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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