you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
