There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
