I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
