I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
