remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
