My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
