Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
