He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
