I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
