in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
