Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
