Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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