Your tits are I can't wait for
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
