Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
