I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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