So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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