I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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