hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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