White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
