dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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