90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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