do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
