he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
