Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
