So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
