i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
