I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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