I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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