I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
