I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
